I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
I am sick or something.
I've been online all day looking for symptoms.
I am weak, extra tired, my stomach turns constantly, I haven't been able to eat anything because I've completely lost my appetite, and I keep getting bloody noses.

I miss home.
I have no one to talk to here, except of course Tony.
& he's been great. He takes great care of me. I love him so much.
but, that doesn't change the homesick feeling...
All I can think about is moving back to California.
People here are fucking lame.
They're selfish judgmental haters! or maybe I'm just meeting the wrong people?
I feel like the people I'm being introduced to have an idea about me before they even meet me or something, because I'm ignored most of the places we go.
& I'm NOT shy at all.
I can talk. And I do talk.
But people look at me like I shouldn't be asking them that, or I shouldn't even be in their house or something.
Always awkward.

We went to one of Tony's good friend's weddings yesterday in Port Angeles, WA.
It was a very...nontraditional wedding, I guess.
Very unorganized and just straight up random.
No one knew what they were supposed to do (the guests).
We all awkwardly stood around till someone directed us with a tone in their voice like we all should've known already.
Overall, it was an awesome wedding, though.
When we first arrived, I started freaking out because I didn't know anyone and everyone seemed so intimidating.
We went to the bar and I didn't know what I wanted to drink right away, so I passed because I felt put on the spot.
I ended up getting a glass of White Zin. mmmm!

Tony's friend Robert appears to REALLY want Tony to get married, haha.
He through the garter belt AT him. It was pretty funny.
Some other dude ended up with it, I think, though.
And when Tina through her bouquet, it landed waaay passed any of the chicks.
She'd told us to move up because she "throws like a girl"....but then she through it passed us.

All this marriage/wedding talk's got Tony and I talkin' to.

I feel like a dork typing in this fuckin' thing.
No one's even going to read it.
No one read my LJ.
Well, people did...and would leave comments giving me advice on things they shouldn't.
I ended up blocking those people, though.
But I like the newness of the layout on this site, and I feel like I'm a new person now.

I'm retarded.